Monday 31st May 2010…I like this and I am one!!!!

THE  CHALLENGED SENIOR
     I  thought about the 36 year business I ran with 1,800 employees, all without  a Blackberry that played music, took videos, pictures and communicated  with Face book and Twitter.
I  signed up under duress for Twitter and Face book, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way.  I figured I could handle something as simple as  Twitter with only 140 characters of space.
That  was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl,  Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twitterrific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that  sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the  texting world.
My  phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation.
I am  not ready to live like this.  I now keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.
The  kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library.  I  keep that in a box under my tool bench with the red Blue tooth phone thing I am supposed to use when I drive.  I wore it once and was standing in  line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife.  Everyone within 50  yards was glaring at me.  Seems I have to take my hearing aid out to  use it and I got a little loud.
The  GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside was the most  annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time..  Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-ul-ating" You would think that she could be nicer.  It was like she could barely tolerate  me.  She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a  U-turn at the next light.
Then  when I would make a right turn instead, things got .  .  well  ..  . . it was not good..
When  I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross  streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the  GPS lady, at least she loves me.
To  be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our  house.  We've had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out  how my wife can lose three phones all at once and I have to run around  digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry  baskets when the phone rings.
The  world is just getting too complex for me.  They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store.  You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I  check out just knocks me for a loop.
I  bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused but I never remember to take them in with me.
Now  I toss it back to them..
When  they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I'm bi-sacksual."
Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank  look.

 

Thanks for sending it to me Chris…

Sara left this morning and I hope the weather improves for them because I know kayaking and camping in the rain is not fun…but I am sure they will have a great time.

I am heading back to Nanaimo for about 10 days…keep tuned in….